Welcome to Class!
by OhtarIstar666
Summary: The Marauders, Lily, NCIS crew, Shawn and Gus, Goneril and Regan, Romeo and Juliet,and Hamlet and Ophelia are all in a English class together... What will happen next? Who will hook up? Will the teacher defenstrate himself? Find out next week on WTC...
1. Mr Sutherland

I don't own any of the characters in here, excpet Mr. Sutherland... So don't sue me.

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The bell rang. The class began to trickle in groups of threes and fours. Coed groups I thought with a bit of pride. Look how far they've come since middle school. Standing by the whiteboard, I idly play with a marker while I watch the seconds tick by till two o'clock. 9…8…7…6…5…

"No, Potter, I will not go out with you!" a red haired girl stormed in, her face matching her hair. Four boys follow. One boy, Potter, I assumed, looked quite downcast. The other three were laughing. The long blacked haired boy was doubled over, trying to breathe. This was obviously not the first time this had happened. The bell rang again. The short boy jumped. This causes the boys to laugh harder. The Goth/Emo kid whose space they were occupying, looks affronted that they dare disturb his brooding with their laughter.

"Boys, take a seat," I ordered. They notice my presence for the first time.

"Who are you?" the black haired boy demanded.

"I'm…"

"The sub for Minnie. Remember she's having her baby? We talked about this yesterday, Sirius," the brown haired boy interrupted. Minnie? They call my processor Minnie? I am so doomed.

"It's not mine," the black haired boy, Serious, denied. Who names their kid Serious?

"We never though so. You don't have the luck with ladies I do," Potter answered. The rest of the class giggled, watching them fight as if this is television show.

"Luck with the ladies? What do you call Evans, a troll?" retorted Serious. Evans' face was returning to the color of her hair, so I decided that it would be wise to intervene.

"I am Mr. Sutherland." No way am I giving those boys my first name. If they could turn Minerva into Minnie, they would have a field day with Percival. "I am subbing for Mrs. McGonagall for the rest of the year. Since I don't know your names, I am going to sit you alphabetically." The class groaned in protest.

"But Mrs. McGonagall let us choose our seats," cried an Italian boy.

"Well, she's not here. Iqra Ash… I have no idea how to say this. Iqra, sit here."

"It's Iq-ra Arshad." She moved over a seat.

"Sirius Black," the black-haired boy sauntered over from his corner seat, glaring at me all the way. Oh, so that's how you spell it, like the star.

"Juliet Capulet." Sirius brightened at bit. He turned around and promptly began flirting outrageously with her. They both ignore her now-glowering, I suppose, boyfriend. I hate drama.

"Anthony DiNozzo." The Italian boy stood and took the spot behind Juliet.

"It's Tony." I expected something a little more smart-alecky from him given his complaining.

"Tony it is. Next row. Lily Evans." The red head took her seat, eyeing Sirius carefully.

"M.E. Freidin." She seems fairly normal, I think as she takes her seat without a comment. Then, she tries to break up the love fest between Sirius and Juliet. I wish her all the luck in the world.

"Burton Gustor." The class erupted into laughter. I don't blame them. What an awful name!

"It's Gus, Mr. Sutherland."

"Okay, then. Goneril Lear." I have never seen that much Abercrombie on a person before. Her outfit must have cost more than I make in a year.

"Next row. Regan Lear." Two of them? This is almost worse than those boys. I'd take rowdy boys over catty girls any day.

"Remus Lupin." The brown haired boy who interrupted me before. He grins madly at Sirius and I can see the wheels turning in his brain. Maybe I should put them further apart…

"Timothy McGee." A quiet looking boy, nerdy. Good, I need more of them.

"It's not McGee, it's McGeek," exclaimed Tony. Name-calling, really? Are we in second grade?

"I thought it was McFlabby," the short kid, who came in with Sirius, Remus, and Potter.

"No, it's McFlower Power. Everyone knows that, Peter," Sirius cried over the budding laughter. He had broken off his flirtations with Juliet. She was now staring at him longing and throwing backward glances at the boyfriend.

"Actually, it's Tim. Ignore them. The lunch ladies made the mistake of not limiting the amount of dessert people were allowed to take. They might possibly be just a little, tiny bit hyper," he explains with a long suffering sigh. I felt bad for him. Poor nerdy kid getting picked on all the time.

"You mean they aren't normally like this?" I asked, wondering if my seventh period class might actually be normal.

A chorus of yes's and no's answered me. "So which is it?"

Tim answered, "No. not really…" I could see him mentally crossing his fingers. Mrs. McGonagall must have been one brave lady, taking them on willingly.

"Okay, then. Romeo Montague." The jealous boyfriend from before. He was alternating between death glares at Sirius and looks of longing at Juliet. Maybe I should separate the two of them for his sanity. Then again, I am not sure this class has any sanity left. Are teachers allowed to think those things about their class?

"Moving right along, Peter Pettigrew." The pudgy boy from before. He takes his seat in the front of the class. A little too close to Remus Lupin for my liking, but it would have to do. He doesn't seem like the instigator of the group.

"Hamlet Pince." The Goth/Emo kid. He sat without comment.

"Ophelia Polonius." And his pink princess? I mean, look at those puppy eyes. Maybe she should go Goth/Emo that would get his attention.

"James Potter." So Potter wasn't a first name? It would better one than Sirius.

"Hey, you forgot me, Mr. Sutherland," a tall black kid called out from the back of the classroom.

"You are?"

"Dwayne Phillips."

"Okay Dwayne. Why don't you sit up front?" Screw alphabetical order. There is no way on earth I am putting Potter, I mean, James up front. He was way too close to Peter and Remus for my liking.

"That screws up your aphbeticalness," Sirius cried. Did I mention this is a senior English class? "It messes with my ADD."

"No, that messes with your OCD," Remus said with a long suffering sigh. Are these kids that much of trial on their own classmates?

"That, too." Great, just great. This class, that kid, is going to be the death of me. THE DEATH OF ME!!!

"Next is Kate Todd." Finally, another sensible looking person. We need more of those.

"Abby Scruto." The Goth girl. Maybe she was going out with the Goth/Emo kid, Hamlet. No, no, no she was to busy trying to get Tony's attention.

"Last but not least, Shawn Spencer." All done. Only twenty of them. I can deal with that.

"I have a question. Did you get divorced recently?" Shawn queried. Just what I need, another wise-ass.

"I don't see why that is important." They don't need to know about my personal life.

"No, I'm a psychic. I see that you were married. What happened?"

"Still none of your business. Moving on. Now these will be your seats for the next few weeks until I learn all your names." And I can trust you all to behave.

Sirius raised his hand. I didn't know he knew how. "Yes, Sirius?"

"Since you obviously know my name," he grinned. "Can I sit where I ever I want?"

I blinked several times. What is wrong with this kid? I just spent the last twenty minutes putting them all in order, and he wants to change seats. Can I curse him off? … No, I'd probably get fired. "Just because I know your name doesn't mean I know everyone else's."

"Well do you know McGoogle's?"  
"Who?" He looked at me beseechingly.

"Tim." I look him. "The nerdy looking kid who sits behind Remus. Anyway, now you know who he is, can we switch seats? Besides you can learn his name just as easily over here, as you can over there. Do you know what else? Why don't you let everyone choose their seats and then, make a seating chart?"

"You are seated in alphabetical order for a reason, and you will stay that way until I feel that you no longer need to." There, I am calm and collected and not cursing the kid off. Good job.

"But we aren't in alphabetical order. You switched James and Dwayne. Phillips comes way before Potter. H and O. For that matter he goes before Hamlet and Ophelia, too. Where did you go to school again? Because I don't think you make a very competent English teacher if you don't know the alphabet, don't you agree, Remus?"

"What— sure?"

"Isn't there some form or something you can fill out? To tell the school a teacher is incompetent?" he asks the bewildered Remus.

"Okay, moving now." Let's change topics and get on to the lesson, please.

"No, you are bugling patsy that got coerced into edifying this assembly of young scholars. How much do you desire to wager that you have no inkling what I just acknowledged? Though I do prefer your ineptitude to the didactic approach that some teachers have." Wow, Sirius has a brain inside his pretty head. I must have taken to long to answer because he continued, "I am speaking English, right? Ne fonctionne mieux le français? Que diriez-vous bulgare? Oder Arabisch? Nó…"

"Stop, please stop!" I cried. I can't take this kid anymore. I wanna go home…

He shrugs, "Since you asked so nicely." The rest of the class laughed.

I swallowed and began, "Since we only have a few minutes left in class, you start working on the homework."

"HOMEWORK!?" the Italian kid, Tony shouted. Methinks he doth protest to much.

"Yes, homework. Write a two page double-spaced essay about your family. It can be that they are the most awesome people you ever met or they are evil people who deserve to burn in hell. I don't care. I just want it tomorrow." The bell rang. Thank the world. "You are dismissed. Sirius, stay for a moment." He pouted slightly, but waved his friends onward. Everyone else leaves.

"What do you want?"

"Detention." My first detention on my first day.

He smirked, "When?"

"Today?" He laughed. It shouldn't have been a question. I have to be more firm.

"Can't, I'm booked. How 'bout I pencil you in for next Tuesday? I'd have to check, but I'm pretty sure I'm free." He rose.

"Sit back down. You cannot schedule your detentions whenever you want. I, as your teacher, tell you when to serve your time."

He laughed again. "You're new. If you want to talk to Mrs. Cole and get me out of her detention, I'll gladly serve yours. But that isn't going to happen, so good-bye."

"You have detention until next Tuesday. What did you do?" I am shocked, well shocked wasn't the right word, but… I didn't know it was possible to have that much detention and still be in school.

"Secret." He grinned at me again. "Now I have to go, or I'll be late." He turned and walked out. I made a mental note to check his excuse. Tuesday would be fun. Oh, well, about that lesson plan for tomorrow.


	2. Juliet

As I said before, I don't own much. Please enjoy...

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Chapter Two

I'm kind of glad that Mr. Sutherland made sit alphabetically. Before I was sitting awkwardly in the middle of a group of nerds, now I am sitting behind the hottest guy in the school and he spent all of last class flirting with me WITH HIS BRITISH ACCENT. Romeo got jealous, but who cares. It's not like what we have going on is serious. What I have going on is Sirius.

"Juliet? Hey Juliet!" I blink and look at M.E. "Did you do the homework last night?"

"Yeah, why?"

"You actually wrote the essay."

"Yeah."

"A two paged double-spaced essay?"

"Yeah."

"And are handing it in on time? Alert the presses. Juliet Capulet did her homework without her grade on the line."

"You're one to talk. Besides, it was a good topic." It was.

"Why your family sucks is an… Hello Sirius."

"'Lo girls. Last night's essay was fun. Don't you agree?" I would agree with him if he told me the sky was green. Oh, I wish he would ask me out. I'd ditch Romeo in a heartbeat for him. I heard that he liked that Goth chick, Abby, but she likes Tim, who likes Regan, though she likes Tony, who is currently crushing on Lily, but she is desperately in love with James, though won't admitted it. Soap opera much?

"Yeah, I actually…" I started to reply.

"Settle down. Everyone hand in their essays," Mr. Sutherland interrupted. A paper jabbed roughly into my back. Tony needs to chill. I snatch it out of his hand and give in to Sirius.

"Alright, I have all the papers, right? Good. I'll have these back in a couple of days." He put the papers on his desk. "Now I understand that you just finished Jane Eyre, right?" We nod. "Good, Bronte uses many different techniques in her novel, but she is most known for her characterizations…" I zone out. Who really cares what Bronte wrote about? Jane Eyre was just a whiny brat who eventually got married to the man who she loved after he got all scarred and stuff. Why is Mr. Sutherland still talking? Does he ever shut up? I think he talks more than my history teacher, and that's saying something. "But makes a character in a book real to you?"

Lily's hand shoots, closely followed by Remus'. I don't understand how a girl that pretty would hang out with the nerds. For that matter I don't understand why she keeps turning down James. I mean he isn't the best looking around, but he's cute and rich and has a British accent. We have so many British kids in kids in our grade. Four in this class alone. I wonder if we have an exchange program or something. I should look into that I've always wanted to go to England.

"For your assignment, I want you to write a card for each of the people in the class, describing them without being to obvious. Each of these note cards will be worth an essay grade, so take your time on it. Your teacher left an example from, I guess, a couple years ago. This it is by Carlton Lassiter about Leroy Jethro Gibbs." He puts a overhead up.

_It is rare for a brown haired man to have such blue eyes. Yet these watch from under heavy brows. He sees everything and makes instant judgments. He follows his gut and never backs down…_

The paragraph wouldn't end. The overhead was covered in tiny letters that went on and on and on. It wasn't worth reading. Besides it couldn't be that hard to write a paragraph or two about everyone in this class. I could write pages on M.E., Goneril, and Regan. That's three people down, plus me, so only sixteen people to go. I could write a novel on Sirius' hair or eyes, so he's good. Romeo would be as easy as my friends. So that's six cards done. I've sat next to Iqra and Tony enough times that I got to know something about them. This should be easy.

"Juliet, why didn't Jane marry Mr. Rochester and do you agree with her reasons or not?" Mr. Sutherland said, startling me from my thoughts.

"Uh… Didn't she marry Rochester?" She did, didn't she? Sparknotes better not have lied to me!

"At the end. But she doesn't marry him the first time?"

"Uh… uh… Wasn't he already married?" I hate being called on. I never know the answers. It is so awkward with everyone staring at you. I can feel my face turning red.

"Yeah, that's right. So, if you were in Jane's shoes, what would you do?" he queried, oblivious to my discomfort.

"Uh… not marry him? Wouldn't it be illegal for him to marry her if he was already married?" Polygamy is totally illegal outside of back-country towns in Utah and the Middle East.

"Yes, it was. Now who can tell me what Rochester's wife could symbolize?" I sigh. I am so happy he moved on. Now I could go back to day dreaming about my date with Sirius. It would be pretty out there. We would go out for a picnic and a walk in the park, not the most romantic of places, but it would work. We would get "lost" and spend hours staring into each other's eyes. It would be amazing. If I just substitute Romeo for Sirius, it might actually be practical. Maybe I should ask Sirius out? I heard from Cosmogirl that guys like it when you make the first move. But what if that turns him off?! Oh, well, there is always Romeo. I don't think anything I could do would make him break up with me. Ah, love, it loves until it loves no more. And that hasn't happened yet.

I begin to compose my note to Sirius. There is always "will you go out with me?" but that is boring and original. How about that crazy pick up line I heard, "Did you have a sunburn, or you always this hot?" except Sirius might think he is turning into a tomato or something and interrupt the class announce it. The look on Mr. Sutherland's face would be priceless. Maybe I should…

"Are you serious?" OMG!! Mr. Sutherland said the taboo words TO SIRIUS!

"I am always Sirius," Sirius replied completely straight-faced. We all giggle. That question has been banned from this school until Sirius graduates. "Even when I don't want to be."

"You are completely sure that you are serious about this?" Oh I wish I heard the beginning of this. I am giggling insanely. Breathe, Juliet, breathe.

"As, I said before, I am always Sirius, but…"

Mr. Sutherland interrupts him, "Wait, I get it now. Your name is Sirius."

Sirius nods his head and begins to explain as if speaking to a very precious three year old, "Of course my name is Sirius. I have been called that since the day I was born. So I always have been and always will be Sirius."

Mr. Sutherland stares at him, open mouthed. I can't believe he didn't get it. He blinks a few more times before asking the class at large, "So I shouldn't ask him if he is Sirius?"

I nod, along with the rest of the class. Iqra adds, "It is best not to ask anyone in this grade that, for most teachers find that we answer with "No, I'm Iqra" or so on and so forth. In fact, that phrase is pretty much banned. Do you understand?"

What a smart-ass. Sirius turns around to give a thumbs up to James and Tony. Our eyes meet and he smiles. I feel my heart go all fluttery. I quickly scribble down "Call me" and my number and put it on his shoulder. He looks at the note and smiles at me again, while sticking the paper in his pocket. Mr. Sutherland doesn't see he's too busy trying to understand Iqra's remarks.

"Okay, I get it. Now class is almost over…" The sound of his voice is drowned out by the flutter of papers and the zipper of book bags. "Don't forget to work on your cards," he shouted over the din. What cards? Oh well, I'll find out tomorrow.


	3. Shawn

I still don't own much. Here is Shawn in a bit of mood...

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Chapter Three – Shawn

This is the most chaotic class ever, I thought, as a streamer flew over my head. Minnie, at least, could control us. This new guy is in way over his head. I jump as a balloon pops near my head. Why, oh, why did James and Sirius decide to throw a party celebrating Mr. Sutherland's first week with balloons and streamers and cake? I love my friends, but the last thing they need is sugar. More sugar, sorry.

"Guys, guys, calm down. The last thing we want is for everything to be used up before he gets here." They nod. "Tony, you finish with the balloons. Abby, get out the cupcakes. Sirius, you and James finish up the streamers. Where is the banner?"

"Remus has it. He'll be here in a minute," James answered as he began to chuck red streamers across the room. Sirius, having finished emptying the bag all over the floor, grabs a roll of gold shiny stuff.

"I've got it. I've got it. Do you have any idea how hard it is to convince Mrs. Reed that I've got unassigned? You'd think she'd trust me, being the fine upstanding student I am," Remus panted out of breath.

"Considering that she knows you have unassigned first period, I'm surprised that she let you in," James commented as he stole the glitter from Sirius. "That's enough. We want to be able to breathe air not shiny stuff."

"You can never have too much glitter," Sirius replied proudly as he dumped more glitter on the floor. The room looked good. The ground was cover with Sirius' beloved glitter, the desks with plates, on the side table a cake, the ceiling streamers and balloons. The crowning glory of the room was the multicolored sign Remus had printed out, "Congratulations on Surviving the First Week! Only 147 More Days to Go!" I wonder how he made the colors flash. Whatever.

"Mr. Sutherland is going to love this!" Abby cried.

"I agree," I seconded.

"Me, too," Sirius yelped as he chased after James.

"Me, thEEEE. GET OFF YOU BIG LUG!" James shouted as Sirius jumped on him, grabbing the glitter.

"I agree, also," Remus called over his shoulder as he went to break up the fight. I don't understand why James and Sirius are friends with Remus. He's much too serious, sirius, for them. It's probably because they're all British. Then, again, he cuts class to make a poster to celebrate our new teacher's first week of school. Remus doesn't even hang out with us most of the time, instead he hangs out with the more intelligently minded, not gifted, because I'm pretty sure Sirius' and James' GPA tops anyone's and Abby's is not far behind, but they don't care. Anyway, he ditches us to hang out with Lily, Iqra, and Gus and then _has_ to join us for the first major caper of the year. I mean, come on and Sirius and James let him?

I'm just a little bitter. I worked hard to get accepted by them. They are the ring leaders of this little group, the pranksters, the popular ones, the Rugby stars, the best friends. Tony and Abby come next with their ability to pull off what ever ridiculous idea Sirius and James come up with. They are just as close of friends as the two boys are. I'm the newest addition and the odd one out. My skills lie in noticing things and movie knowledge, which makes me get along great with Tony but otherwise pretty useless.

My best friend in the world is barely talking to me since I joined them. He thinks I'm immature and irresponsible. I ruined my friendship for a bunch of guys who didn't make me their number one priority. Yeah, I know that they have their own problems, but still! I miss hanging out with Gus. But he's too busy hanging out with wonderful perfect Remus to care.

"Shawn, are you okay?" Remus asked, looking concerned. Great, he has to be a nice guy, too. Stupid friend stealer. I feel like fifth grader.

"Fine, just fine." The first bell rings. We go to our desks. The door opens slowly and Mr. Sutherland walks in.

"SURPEISE!" we all yelled. He jumps. The look on his face is priceless. He is shocked and angry and rapidly turning red.

"What is the meaning of this?" he asked his eyes flashing wildly around before landing on Sirius.

"We just wanted to celebrate you being here for a whole week," Abby answers sweetly. He looks at her for a split second and then back at Sirius. Nobody ever blames Abby for anything. It doesn't matter she has a half dozen tattoos or wears a spiked dog collar every other day to school. She is Abby and according to teachers, possibly the sweetest person they have ever met.

Tony follows up with "Besides, half the class lost money on you surviving this long, so we thought we'd cheer them up." Probably not the right thing to say, going by the fact that his face got even redder.

"Which is a good thing, since gambling with our teacher's futures is a bad," Remus throwing his two sense in.

"Would you like some punch?" I ask trying to defuse the situation. I don't need another detention.

James shares my idea, or just want to see how far we can push Mr. Sutherland, "Or a cupcake? They're quite good. Sirius and I made them this morning." Which explains why they weren't here this morning.

Mr. Sutherland was still glaring at Sirius. "Do you think we used enough glitter?" Sirius asked innocently as possible, blinking his eyelashes. James snorts. I have to agree. Sirius and innocent are never used in the same sentence unless the world defacing it in between. Innocents defacing Sirius. I crack myself up.

"Detention all of you after school. You get to clean this place up," Mr. Sutherland screamed. The rest of our class, which was trying to get in the door behind him, freeze. They, we, had never seen him this angry.

"So, I guess you don't like parties," Sirius commented calmly. I wonder how many people yell at him daily. No one can be this calm without practice.

"Double detention for you. I'm sure this was all your idea!" Mr. Sutherland was beyond rage right now. He was livid.

"It was—," Remus began, but Sirius cut him off.

"Completely my idea. I guess we'll have to delay my detention that I got last week. We'll reschedule." He turns to the class. "Cupcakes are on the side table. Grab one and a glass of punch. Then take your seats. I'm sure Mr. Sutherland has a stimulating lesson planned for us." We did exactly that. Mr. Sutherland hid in the corner trying to breathe. Eventually, when we all finished munching on our surprisingly good cupcakes, Mr. Sutherland began class. He didn't mention the party or the streamers or even the glitter that was sticking to his shirt.

"Iqra, Lily could you two pass these out? I'm returning the family essays. These were pretty good. Most of you are up to what I consider senior writing level. Please see me if you have any questions about what you got or my comments. You all will have the rest of the period to work on your note cards, silently."

You could here a pin drop. The two girls walked silently handing back essay after essay. I received mine from Iqra. B-plus. Good job, Shawn! I flick through it reading his comments. Bla, bla, good characterization. Bla, bla, "I can't believe your dad locked you in a trunk for survival training." What fun! Now on to my cards…

Who should I do next? I finished Gus', Lily's, and Hamlet's. I could do Kate's or Regan's, or even Tony's. I sort of want to Remus' but I'm feeling a bit too vindictive for it to come out nice. Who should I do?

_Eeny, meeny, miny, moe, _

_Catch a tiger by the toe. _

_If he hollers let him go, _

_Eeny, meeny, miny, moe_

_My mother says to pick the very best one,_

_And that is Y-O-U!_

Juliet it is then. I could write about her hair, or eyes, or something. Here goes nothing. I put my pen to my paper and begin to write.

_Juliet is a __very nice person__ kind-hearted person. She spends time each weekend working with the elderly at Sacred Heart Retirement Home. _I sound like a stalker. _She is a favorite among the retirees and is often praised for her ability to organize events. She also has a great singing voice and great stage presage._

The bell rang startling me from my thoughts. It took me a good half hour to write four sentences. I am impressed with my own lack of brilliance. I get up to leave before remembering that yet again I have detention thanks to Remus', and Sirius', wild plan. Let's go see what he wants. He hasn't cooled down visibly yet. This will be fun.


	4. Iqra

So I haven't updated recently... Or at all really... I plead the 5th. Anyway, here are two juicy new chapters for you to enjoy.

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Chapter 4 -- Iqra

I love Halloween, the dressing up, the candy, the way teachers don't do much. Though, I got to say my favorite thing about Halloween is seeing what other people wear. Let's see so far in this class we have some hillbillies, a cross dressing tarot card reader whom I am assuming is Shawn, and couple of people in business suits who may or may no be dressed up. I can't tell.

"Good afternoon, class," Mr. Sutherland half-shouted over the din the rest of the class was making. I exchanged a grin with Lily, sugar plus pretty much anyone male in this class equals, well, not good. Why isn't she dressed up? I thought she was planning on doing something. "All right, quiet down. We have a few things to do this period."

"No, we don't," Tony cried, interrupting him. Ever since that party incident, Mr. Sutherland has calmed down, or grew up. I haven't decided yet. He lets Tony's and the rest of the crew's snide comments roll off him now, instead of taking them to heart. I think he was bullied a lot as child…

"Yes, we do," Mr. Sutherland replied, not blinking an eye. "Today, we are working on TP-CASTT. Now, who can tell me what it stands for? Irqa?" He looked at me. "What are you supposed to be a terrorist?"

That is not something you are supposed to say to someone of Middle Eastern descent. "I'm an assassin."

"Mr. Sutherland, do you know how not politically correct that was?" Lily asked.

Mr. S turned red, that bright tomato red that they talk about in all the books. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean…"

"I think she could sue you for that," Sirius said. Juliet sighed. Give up, sweetie. He's never going to go out with you. Just pick a boy and stay with him. Sirius or Romeo, I don't care, but you don't need to be rejected in public. Take that back. Keep it up. It will be hilarious when they both rejected you.

"I'm sorry. I didn't release… Uh, can you tell me what T stands for?"

"Title," I replied.

"Correct, how about P, Peter?"

"Uhhh," he stutters, "Paraphrase." Peter has always struck me as a bit of slimy child. Maybe slimy wasn't the right word, he's no Severus, underhanded maybe?

"Good. Why aren't you dressed up?" Mr. Sutherland queried. Peter turned red.

"Maybe because he is a mature senior," Gus stated. He wasn't dressed up either. For that matter, neither was Sirius, Tony, James, Remus, or Abby. Kate wasn't either, but I expected that from her. Those five, six, seven if you count Lily, not so much.

Mr. Sutherland nods, "Can anyone tell me what C stands for, Gus?"

"Connotation." Gus is a suck up. He is. He wants teachers to like him so desperately that they begin to get scared of him. I heard rumors that one of elementary school teachers filed a restraining order against after he showed up at her house. And then he does something stupid with Shawn and we are back to the beginning.

"Right. Abby, can you tell what A stands for?"

Abby has a mind I can relate to, all dark and creepy. She is the only happy Goth I have ever met. "Attitude," she replies without looking up.

He nods, "Goneril, how about S?"

"Shifts." She dressed up as a hillbilly. Somehow I find this fitting. She and her twin and Juliet and M.E. and Ophelia all dressed up as hillbillies. I'm surprised they didn't do something sluttier. I guess they wanted to remain school appropriate… for once.

"Good, good. Now who knows what the first T stands for?" Mr. Sutherland asked. He is so setting himself up.

"Why are we starting over? We already did the first T. It stands for title," Sirius answered with an implied duh at the end.

"I meant the second first T. Sirius why don't you answer." Mr. Sutherland has to learn you can't be too literal in this class.

"Because that makes much more sense, since it also means title."

"And the last T stands for, Ophelia?" He ignores Sirius' little comment.

"Theme."

"Alright, today I found some theme poems for us to practice TP-CASTT on. The first poem is "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe." He begins to hand out copies of the poem. Juliet was too busy staring at Sirius to take the pile, so I dumped it on her desk. "I have to say I am slightly disappointed with you guys. I figured that you guys would go all out for Halloween." Because we go all out for pretty much everything else. We've been fairly calm lately. He should see us during rugby season. "Kate, what does the title mean to you?"

"That a giant bird will come and eat me," Kate replied straight faced. This was not the answer Mr. Sutherland was looking for.

"Okay," he replied. "Tim, why don't you read us the first stanza out loud?" Being specific is a good idea.

"Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,  
Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore,  
While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,  
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.  
`'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, `tapping at my chamber door -  
Only this, and nothing more," Tim reads and then glances at the clock.

"Alright, who wants to paraphrase that?" Nobody raises their hands. "Lily?"

"Uh…" Saved by the cell phone going off to the Justice League theme song. Don't ask how I know, just blame my friends.

"Shut that off," Mr. Sutherland whines.

James answers instead, "Yes Mr. President… This is he… No, it's not a bad time… Lex Luthor and the Joker have paired up and are trying to destroy Sunnydale High School?... Of course, we will. Superman out." He snaps the phone shut and rips off his shirt. No, it's not as nice as it sounds. He reveals Superman outfit underneath, complete with a cape. "Justice League assemble."

Sirius stands up, revealing his Batman costume. Tony is the Martian, otherwise known as J'onn J'onzz. Abby is Hawkgirl complete with wings and the mace. Peter, kind of surprising but not really since he practically worships Sirius and James and sadly isn't the only one, _cough_Shawn_cough_, is Green Lantern. Remus, another sort of surprised but not really since I normally consider him above pranks but hey, it's Halloween, is the Flash. The actual surprise is Lily who is playing the role of Wonder Woman. I wonder how James got her to do this, especially since everyone knows that she (Wonder Woman) ends up with Batman. I must ask her about this… later.

"Let's go team. We must protect the school from destruction," Superman shouted as he marched to the door with the rest of the Justice League following him.

"What do you think you're going?" Mr. Sutherland asks. He is very pale. I wonder if he will faint. I also wonder if he realized that he challenged them by saying nobody did anything for Halloween.

"To save the school," replied Flash. He sounded so serious that Mr. Sutherland blinked a few times. Remus was like that. He had such a good boy image that teachers normally believed what ever he said. It didn't matter how many times he got caught doing something stupid with Sirius and James, he was still a "good kid." Even when it's his idea to spray paint the teacher's lounge in red and gold.

As they move to leave, Shawn cries, "Superman, I am here." He rips off his gypsy outfit to reveal… I have no idea. He had a bald wig on and a suit. I was kind of expecting something more exciting.

"Lex Luthor! How did you get in here?" Superman exclaimed. Oh…

"I walked through the front door."

"Oh no, not the door," cried Green Lantern. "That's how we got in."

"And how you will get out," the Martian continued. The rest of the Justice League looked at him. "I doubt the class would appreciate if we broke window." Well, it is pretty gross outside. Sleeting maybe, or just that wonderful wintery mix that weather people always preach about. It better clear up later. I want to go tricker-or-treating."

"Lex, you shall not harm the students in this school. Come quietly now and save yourself the trouble," Superman ordered.

Lex doesn't, "NEVER!" and pulls out a nerf gun; at least I assume it is a nerf gun. It's covered with construction paper and glitter, lots of glitter. "With my Freeze-orama ray, I will not be defeated..."

"Superman," Batman shouts over the end of Lex's speech, "Superman, SUPERMAN!" Superman tears his eyes off Lex. Puppy crush, anyone? "We forgot about one!"

"Who?" Superman replies, looking confused. Me, too. I look around the room. Oh… "The Joker... He's your problem." Tim's costume had transformed from a blue fuzzy Elf-lord into the Joker complete with the make up. I have no idea how he managed to do that up in the past two minutes… I don't think I want to know.

"Batman, you will never stop us from destroying this school," he shouted madly. "We set up bombs around the room and…" He pulls out another gun. "… we are armed." Batman started towards him. "No, no, no. You wouldn't want me to shoot any of these nice people with my control beam. They will fall under my control FOREVER and there isn't anything you can do about it." Batman takes another step and reaches into his utility belt. "Bad Batman, you loose a person." He aims and fires, hitting Dwayne. "Rise my minion. Attack Flash!" Dwayne gets up jerkily and moved towards Remus.

"Stop, man. You don't want do that. I'm just your friendly neighborhood Flash," Flash cried as he ran circles around Dwayne.

"I need more minions," Joker cried. "Lex, freeze the Justice League and with our minions we will bring down the school… Did you remember to set the bombs?"

"Of course, Joker. I am not an incompetent fool," Lex replied coolly. "Of course, I set the bombs. They are set to go off in five minutes."

"You put bombs in school filled with innocent children? I can't believe you, Lex," Superman commented sounding hurt. He began to advance towards Lex.

"Innocent children? Have you heard the locker room talk? They deserve to get themselves blown up," replied Lex. "Now, I'll stop the Justice League, You gain us minions." He shoots Tony who freezes.

"JON," Superman screams as he jumps over Ophelia to get him. Lex has good aim as Superman crashes across the desk. Ophelia looks shocked, for putting on a mindless expression as a mind-control bullet hits her. She pushes Superman to the floor begins to guard him, snarling at Hawkgirl as she tries to retrieve his body.

"Come on, Bats. If you push this little button, you'll reverse the minions back to their normal sheep like state… as long as you do it in the next five minutes. But you can do, you can do anything." Batman jumps over M.E.'s desk missing the Joker by inches. "That's cheating." He takes a quick step back and shoots again, this time hitting… me. Should I play along? Mr. Sutherland still looks like he is on to much shock to actually do anything. I get up jerkily. "Minion, destroy the Justice League. Attack Wonder Woman." I lumber towards Lily. She tosses her lasso around me. I struggle but remain contained. All around me the battle rages. The entire class has been hit by Joker's mind control bullets and for once all are actually playing along, even Kate. Mr. Sutherland is still in shock. By this time next year, he'll be one of those completely unflappable teachers. For now, he's still fun.

"I got Superman. I got Superman," the Joker sung. Superman had managed to unfreeze himself by using his heat vision. No joke, a red flashing light was attacked to his glasses. Wait, he's wearing glasses, does that mean he's Clark Kent again? Whatever, anyway. Now he has one of the bullets sticking out his shoulder . "Attack Batman. Bring him down. Bring him down!" I look to see what happen to the other Justice League members. All but Green Lantern, who is currently surrounded by minions, are frozen.

"Joker, you are going down," Batman commanded. He chucked a Baterang at Lex's gun disabling it. Turning on his heel and dodging Dwayne's lunge, he tackled Joker sending the gun flying towards Green Lantern, who in turn sends out a green beam and brought the gun to him.

"Disable it, GL! I'll take care of the clown." A red bolt whizzes past his head. "And Superman." He reaches into his utility belt and pulls out a glowing green rock. Superman clutches his heart and falls over.

"I pushed the disable button on the gun. The minions should be returning to normal any second now," Peter cried across the room. Taking the cue, I shake myself and rub my face as if coming out of a dream. Other around me do the same.

"What did you do that for, Bats?" Superman asked still shaking from the kryptonite.

"Besides proving that Batman could take Superman in a fight any day, it allowed me not to have all my bones broken. Now, if you when to round up your arch-nemesis, I'll go get mine. GL, can you unfreeze everyone," Batman commanded. They all got busy. We, the minions, stood around awkwardly not quite sure what we were supposed to be doing.

"Did you get the bombs?" Flash asked. A superhero who truly cares, how sweet. I had forgotten about the bombs. How long were they set for?

"No, that's your job," Batman didn't bother to look up. He had managed to corner the Joker and was trying to puzzle out the best way to contain him. Superman was having the same problem with Lex.

"Aye, aye, sir!" He ran around the room defusing the bombs that I hadn't noticed before. I sat in my chair. Anything was better than standing randomly in front of the teacher's desk when I'm not quite sure how he will respond.

The pause in the activity seemed to wake Mr. Sutherland. He looked at the clock and looked at them mess we managed to make. "The bell is going to ring soon. I want this room to be spotless by that time or you all will have detentions for the rest of year."

"School year or year year?" Sirius pondered.

"School year," Mr. Sutherland replied. We went about picking up the desks and chairs and straightening out the rows. M. E. began to clean the white board while James and Sirius pulled out some brooms and swept up the floor. It was really quiet. The bell rang harshly in the silence. We filed out just as quiet.

"That was very good, boys," Mr. Sutherland said quietly as they left. James and Sirius grin. I realize I never asked Lily why she agreed to dress up with them. Maybe because she's finally softening to James or because Sirius asked her pretty please. Nobody can resist his puppy eyes. Or maybe she remembered its senior year, last chance for fun. I'll ask her Monday.


	5. Lily

I don't own any of the poems used in this chapter nor most of the characters, otherwise I would be much richer than I am now. The next chapter is in sight. Hamlet's little tale is next. Now remember, hit the little blue button down at the bottom and remind me I have a story.

* * *

Chapter 5 – Lily

5, 4, 3, 2, 1. The bell rings. I watch as James and Sirius dive into their seats, giggling madly. You'd think they were twins the way they acted. I swear they share a brain and a small one at that. Possibly the two most popular guys in the school, between rugby, good looks, and decent grades (fine, good grades) they have the school charmed. It doesn't matter that they are in detention every other day; they can still get away with anything. Before Mrs. McGonagall left, they called her Minnie and they enter Principal Khan declaring that he can't prove a thing. I think they are the reason he put secrecy cameras in the school.

"Good afternoon, class," Mr. Sutherland said pleasantly. "Before we start reciting our poems, I would like to remind you that your note cards are due in exactly one week. There will be no extensions or excuses, since you've had nearly a month to do this. Each day late will loose you ten points off your end grade. Any questions?"

There was some grumbling, but overall, the class was quiet. I am almost done, just two more cards left to do. Sirius and James, James and Sirius, I wonder if I could just write one card for the both of them and get it over with. I just don't know what to write. It feels like every time I try I just scratch the surface. So I did some digging and found out more than I ever wanted to know about both of them. Originally, I though Sirius was just another arrogant asshole who has dated every girl in the school. Though I have seen him act serious (pun completely unintended) like Tony slipped in that puddle and cracked his head open on the corner of a desk. He managed to stay calm while we all panic and/or screamed like a little girl at the sight of blood, _coughJamescough_. I also noticed that he hides his pain behind a quick joke and a smile, like when he got tackled at that one rugby game I saw (yes, I did see one). His arm was clearly at the wrong angle, and I mean wrong angle. It was all bent backwards and everything and he just laughed and flirted with the female EMT as she splinted him. And another thing, I realized as he finches whenever anyone besides James comes too close to him without his permission. I know he lives with the Potters (I feel sorry for the poor parents, having to deal with James and Sirius all the time) and has for a while. I don't know where he was before that and I'm not sure I want to. Sirius is a mystery. Maybe that is what I should write on my card in big capital letters. SIRIUS IS A MYSTERY.

James, on the other hand, I know more about that I want, too. I miss freshman year when he was just a one-side prick whose only goal was to ask me out in more and more embarrassing ways. I do not want (well, need) three hundred boxes of chocolate nor a marriage propel over the loudspeaker. Lately, he's backed off. He hasn't asked me out since Mr. Sutherland's first day. I fear he's planning something big. I've actually been thinking about accepting the next one, if it's tasteful enough. I mean, it's senior year. I might as well. He's been really sweet lately to other people. I saw him helping Peter with his homework the other day and he hasn't been bothering Severus as much. I could do worse; Tony, for instance.

"No, good. Now for are presentations. Who wants to go first?" Mr. Sutherland continued.

"Didn't we sign up for this ages ago?" Tony cried in distress. The rest of the class murmured their agreement. Public speaking is not everyone's favorite thing.

"Yeah, we did," Shawn persisted. "Remus was first."

"Thanks for throwing me to the wolves, Shawn," Remus said with a smile. James and Sirius giggled insanely, again.

Mr. Sutherland finds our sign up sheet in the mess he calls a desk. "Yes, Remus was first followed by Iqra. Remus, if you would?"

Remus stands in front of the room. ""If" by Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you  
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;  
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,  
But make allowance for their doubting too;  
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,  
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,  
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,  
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;  
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;  
If you can meet with triumph and disaster  
And treat those two imposters just the same;  
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken  
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,  
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,  
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings  
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,  
And lose, and start again at your beginnings  
And never breath a word about your loss;  
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew  
To serve your turn long after they are gone,  
And so hold on when there is nothing in you  
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,  
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;  
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;  
If all men count with you, but none too much;  
If you can fill the unforgiving minute  
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -  
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,  
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!"

James and Sirius give his a standing ovation, sparking a scattering of applause around the room. He did a good job. That was a long poem.

"Good job. That was a bit longer than I expected," Mr. Sutherland looked back down at his paper. "Iqra, you're up. Kate is on deck."

I flash her a smile as she gets up. She grins back as she turns to face the class. ""Ballade to Romance" by David Russell.

They say that you no longer fly

Across the land in twilight's glow,

That you no longer wander by

The lotus pools that dimly show

Below the whispering trees. and Oh!

They say you never haunt the streams

And woodlands1 But they do not know

The world is wrapped in saffron dreams.

They say you have gone where I

Can never follow, that your foe

Has crushed you, that you die.

But they never stood below

Tall cypress trees that whisper low

Unto the breeze their joy that seems

To tell of loves that sing and know

The world is wrapped in saffron dreams.

They have not seen the waves leap high

Where silver tipped currents flow,

They have not felt the star-gemmed sky

Across which misty vapors blow

And crumpled clouds float to and fro

Resplendent with a thousand beams

So that they knew this to be so:

The world is wrapped in saffron dreams.

Oh Romance, let us ever go

To fields where your love-banner beams;

Our living shall be sweet – for lo,

The world is wrapped in saffron dreams.

"Good job, good job. Nice tone. Kate, you ready?" She nods. "Good you're up. Sirius, you're next."

Kate stands in the front of the class, shoulders back and chin high. "Emily Dickinson:

I have no life but this,

To lead it here;

Nor any death, but lest

Dispelled from there;

Nor tie to earths to come,

Nor action new,

Except through this extent,

The realm of you.

"A nice short poem, thank you. I am a big fan of Emily Dickinson. Sirius, you're up. Hamlet, after this."

Sirius gets up and flashes a grin at James. "Tired of Trying by Silence Dogood:

im tired of tryin  
Sick of cryin  
Yeah im smilin  
But inside im  
Dying

I dont know whats worth fighting for  
or why I have to scream  
But now i have some clarity  
To tell you what I mean.  
You went and broke whats already broken  
I try to take a breath but im already chocking  
I cant seem to get my heart over you.  
Cause you creep into everything i do.  
I never thought that you could break me apart  
I keep an inisint smile and a hold on my heart.

And im tired of tryin  
Sick of cryin  
Yeah im smilin  
But inside Im  
Dying  
This is my december  
These are my snow covered trees  
This is me pretending  
This is all I need  
Taken far from my safety  
The picture is there  
The memory wont escape me  
But why should I care?

because im Tired of trying  
Sick of crying  
Yeah im smiling  
But inside im dying

If you had class you'd throw down with me.  
Drown in your fake personality  
I kept the snapshots of reality  
Burnt pictures and bad memories.  
Will it ever be the same.  
Will you ever say my name.  
In card and flowers on your window  
I plead for you to stay  
Sometimes beginings arent so simple  
Sometimes goodbyes the only way

Cause im tired of trying  
Sick of crying  
Yeah Im smiling  
But inside im  
Dying.

You have no heart you got no shame.  
You take true love and give the blame.  
You took me and shook me.  
Tore me apart.  
And left me with a broken heart.  
I cannot take this anymore  
Saying everything i've said before  
I'll paint it on the walls  
Cause im the one at fault  
I'll never fight again  
And this is how it ends

im tired of trying  
So sick of cryin  
yeah im smilin

But inside im dying  
and even though im smilin  
doesnt mean its true  
Because inside im dying  
All because of you"

The class was oddly silent. I don't think anyone expected that. It was serious (again no pun intended).

"Uh, good job," Mr. Sutherland stuttered. "A very moving poem. Hamlet, you're up. Lily, you're next."

"I'm not sure I'll top that poem, but here goes nothing," Hamlet began. "Annabel Lee by Edgar Allen Poe:

"It was many and many a year ago,  
In a kingdom by the sea,  
That a maiden there lived whom you may know  
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;--  
And this maiden she lived with no other thought  
Than to love and be loved by me.  
She was a child and I was a child,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
But we loved with a love that was more than love--  
I and my Annabel Lee--  
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven  
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
A wind blew out of a cloud by night  
Chilling my Annabel Lee;  
So that her high-born kinsman came  
And bore her away from me,  
To shut her up in a sepulchre  
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,  
Went envying her and me:--  
Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,  
In this kingdom by the sea)  
That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling  
And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love  
Of those who were older than we--  
Of many far wiser than we-  
And neither the angels in Heaven above,  
Nor the demons down under the sea,  
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:--

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side  
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,  
In her sepulchre there by the sea--  
In her tomb by the side of the sea. It was many and many a year ago,  
In a kingdom by the sea,  
That a maiden there lived whom you may know  
By the name of ANNABEL LEE;--  
And this maiden she lived with no other thought  
Than to love and be loved by me.  
She was a child and I was a child,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
But we loved with a love that was more than love--  
I and my Annabel Lee--  
With a love that the winged seraphs of heaven  
Coveted her and me.

And this was the reason that, long ago,  
In this kingdom by the sea,  
A wind blew out of a cloud by night  
Chilling my Annabel Lee;  
So that her high-born kinsman came  
And bore her away from me,  
To shut her up in asepulchre  
In this kingdom by the sea.

The angels, not half so happy in Heaven,  
Went envying her and me:--  
Yes! that was the reason (as all men know,  
In this kingdom by the sea)  
That the wind came out of a cloud, chilling  
And killing my Annabel Lee.

But our love it was stronger by far than the love  
Of those who were older than we--  
Of many far wiser than we-  
And neither the angels in Heaven above,  
Nor the demons down under the sea,  
Can ever dissever my soul from the soul  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee:--

For the moon never beams without bringing me dreams  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And the stars never rise but I see the bright eyes  
Of the beautiful Annabel Lee;  
And so, all the night-tide, I lie down by the side  
Of my darling, my darling, my life and my bride,  
In her sepulchre there by the sea--  
In her tomb by the side of the sea."

"Excellent," Mr. Sutherland replied. "Lily, your turn. James is next."

I get up slowly. It's not that I hate public speaking, it's just not my favorite thing. I just hate the butterflies.

"I also did Edgar Allen Poe. "Road to Eldorado:

GAILY bedight,  
A gallant knight,  
In sunshine and in shadow,  
Had journeyed long,  
Singing a song,  
In search ofEldorado.

But he grew old --  
This knight so bold --  
And o'er his heart a shadow  
Fell as he found  
No spot of ground  
That looked likeEldorado.

And, as his strength  
Failed him at length,  
He met a pilgrim shadow --  
"Shadow," said he,  
"Where can it be --  
This land ofEldorado?"

"Over the Mountains  
Of the Moon,  
Down the Valley of the Shadow,  
Ride, boldly ride,"  
The shade replied, --  
"If you seek for Eldorado!""

"A very nice poem, Lily. Our final poem of the day, James if you will," Mr. Sutherland breathed. I think he hates poetry. He's been rushing us though this entire unit. Most of the other classes are still of TP-CASTT, which I have to say am glad we are done with.

James moves to the front of the room with his lean athletic grace. Pausing in the center of the board, his eyes find mine. "This is for Lily," he said gravely, getting down on one knee. He better no propose marriage, again. "How Do I Love Thee? Elizabeth Bennet Browning.

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.

I love thee to the depth and breadth and height

My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight

For the ends of being and ideal grace.

I love thee to the level of every day's

Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.

I love thee freely, as men strive for right.

I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.

I love thee with the passion put to use

In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.

I love thee with a love I seemed to lose

With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,

Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,

I shall but love thee better after death.

"Will you go out with me, Lily?" Only James could pull off a public love poem and not get called out. I should reject him just because of tradition. But why not accept? I'm already in college and there isn't anything left to do. It's senior year.

"Yes," I replied quietly. It was so quiet in the classroom. 5…4…3…2…1…

"All right, Prongs!" Sirius screamed, tackling James. They scuffled for a few seconds before James ends up in a headlock.

"Get off me," James whimpered, his hand trashing madly at Sirius' face. Sirius dodges easily, relishing in the fact that he is a good two inches taller than James.

"Nope," he replied evenly as he tightened his hold. James stopped struggling. "Now, Evans is a keeper and you are going to keep her. You have waited four long years for this and I'm not going to let you screw up." Would that be considered a threat? "She's a nice girl. Respect her every wish or you'll answer to me." James seems about to protest, so Sirius shakes him a few times. "I don't care if she makes you go buy tampons. Pain is good for the soul. Understand?" James tries to nod. He's beginning to turn a little blue. Sirius seems to notice and lets go.

"Boys, no roughhousing in the classroom, please," Mr. Sutherland said as he came out of his stupor. I think we scare him… a lot. I mean Sirius might have just caused James serious (no pun intended) damage and he didn't do anything about it. If I was to randomly start choking pretty much anyone except maybe James (which I'm sure is completely understandable), I would be in detention faster than I could blink. But the two of them can pretty much blow up the school without getting a warning. I hate double standards. "All right, since the bell is going to ring in a few minutes anyway, you can talk among yourselves for the remainder of the period." Like we were going to do work anyway. Immediately, most of the girls in the class swarmed over to me, while the usual guys joined Sirius and James in the front of the room. I could heat them placing bets on how long James and I would remain a couple. Sadly or maybe predictably, Sirius was the only one who thought we would make it past graduation and he was getting excellent odds. Remus didn't even give us a week.

"Finally," Iqra said, smiling at me.

"Agreed," replied Juliet.

"What are you going to do on your first date?" asked Regan.

"You should go to the movies," M.E. announced.

"No, you should go out for a quiet dinner at some expensive restaurant," exclaimed Goneril. She was always a gold-digger.

"Not for a first date. Movies are way better for first dates," M.E. shot back.

"Fancy dinner."

"Movies."

"Dinner."

"Movies."

"Actually, I was thinking about doing both, if Lily didn't mind," James said from behind me. I didn't hear him come over. "And I was thinking a double, so it wouldn't be too awkward. If you'd excuse us ladies, we'd like to talk." Everyone scattered.

"You'll have to teach me how to do that," I said quietly.

He grinned. "It's a gift. Sirius gets them to come over and I get them to run away. Now, about our date. Sirius wants to come to make sure I don't screw things up with you. He wants to make sure I'm serious." I can't help it. I giggle. "What!?"

"No, it's just that…" I start laughing harder. "I just didn't know you were serious."

"Of course, I'm serious," he said a good deal louder than he meant to.

Sirius bounds over. "You can't be Sirius, I am."

James growls. "That pun needs to die."

"Hey, it wasn't me how said it." James looked like he was about to kill Sirius so I interrupted their bromance. I swear the two of them have the weirdest, but closest, bromance ever, except for J.D. and Turk, but I'm still pretty sure they're gay.

"Anyway, about our date?" I asked.

"You have corrupted the entire school. I heard Principal Khan say it when one of the parents asked he was you-know-what. It's an epidemic," James shouted outraged.

"Date, James, date," I tried again.

"James, sweetie, you're ignoring your date," Sirius pointed out. James was still ranting. Remus caught my eye. He had obviously been listening in. Grinning, he mouthed 'They do this a lot. Get used to it.'

"Boys! Date?"

"Sorry. Anyway, Sirius is going with us. He wishes to tell you that he will allow you to choose his date for the evening."

"Choose his date?"

"Well, I figure we will probably end up arguing for half the time so I decided that you can choose your companion," Sirius said with a little bow.

"Anyone?"

"Sure why not. I'll even tell you one embarrassing story about James if I loose." He cupped his hand to his mouth. "I've known him since he was potty training. I've got plenty of stories."

"Kate." How could I resist?

"Cool be back in a few." He walked off and sat down next to Kate. After a few seconds, she was laughing at something.

"He has a gift," James said enviously. I have to agree. I don't think anyone has ever said no. "We do this for fun sometimes. Once Remus choice a guy and he did it. He's straight and I am pretty sure that guy was too." Sirius wandered back over, grinning. "Where's Kate?"

"Finishing up her math homework. I picking her up at three to go to an Emily Dickenson poetry reading, then we will swing by and pick you too love birds up at seven for dinner followed by an eight-thirty showing of whatever movie you wish, Lily."

James sniggered and I glared at him. "Fine."

"James, Sirius, get over here," Peter called. James gets up reluctantly and wanders over. Sirius pauses for a moment.

"If he is ever too obnoxious, just tell me and I'll fix him," he mutters before bowing and scampering away. I wander over to Kate.

"Sirius, really?" I ask.

"He's taking me to the poetry festival, so it should be good," she responds. The bell rings. Kate packs up as if nothing has changed. Everything has changed for me at least. Everything has changed.


End file.
